One of the biggest problems here is that we're (unnecessarily, as I understand it) installing oslo.vmware on baremetal on the compute hosts. That is the *only* package in all of openstack that actively requires urllib3 in Juno/Kilo. Since we keep calling Juno "Rackspace Technical Debt" and we know our customers, let's just stop installing oslo.vmware on those nodes. This will almost certainly solve the problems here.
One of the biggest problems here is that we're (unnecessarily, as I understand it) installing oslo.vmware on baremetal on the compute hosts. That is the *only* package in all of openstack that actively requires urllib3 in Juno/Kilo. Since we keep calling Juno "Rackspace Technical Debt" and we know our customers, let's just stop installing oslo.vmware on those nodes. This will almost certainly solve the problems here.