Gstreamer is where the community is going, Xine-lib is not. Yes, it's frustrating that DVD menus don't work on totem-gstreamer, but I would suggest you keep that package, and use VLC to watch your DVDs, not Totem.
Gstreamer is where the community is going, Xine-lib is not. Yes, it's frustrating that DVD menus don't work on totem-gstreamer, but I would suggest you keep that package, and use VLC to watch your DVDs, not Totem.