pkgProblemResolver::Resolve "held" packages prevent dist-upgrade

[ScarySquirrel]

The following shows the situation with my broken packages, which, according to the dist-upgrade tool, prevent my upgrade to 16.04:

nathan-xps% sudo apt-get install vim
[sudo] password for nb:
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
vim is already the newest version.
You might want to run 'apt-get -f install' to correct these:
The following packages have unmet dependencies:
 cups-bsd : Depends: update-inetd but it is not going to be installed
 libcommon-sense-perl : Depends: perl (< 5.18.3~) but 5.22.2-1 is to be installed
 perl : Depends: perl-base (= 5.22.2-1) but 5.18.2-2ubuntu1.1 is to be installed
        Recommends: rename but it is not installable
 perl-modules-5.22 : Depends: perl-base (>= 5.22.2-1) but 5.18.2-2ubuntu1.1 is to be installed
 sane-utils : Depends: update-inetd but it is not going to be installed
E: Unmet dependencies. Try 'apt-get -f install' with no packages (or specify a solution).
nathan-xps% apt-get -f install
E: Could not open lock file /var/lib/dpkg/lock - open (13: Permission denied)
E: Unable to lock the administration directory (/var/lib/dpkg/), are you root?
nathan-xps% sudo apt-get -f install
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
Correcting dependencies... failed.
The following packages have unmet dependencies:
 libcommon-sense-perl : Depends: perl (< 5.18.3~) but 5.22.2-1 is installed
 perl : Depends: perl-base (= 5.22.2-1) but 5.18.2-2ubuntu1.1 is installed
        Recommends: rename but it is not installable
 perl-modules-5.22 : Depends: perl-base (>= 5.22.2-1) but 5.18.2-2ubuntu1.1 is installed
 slapd : Depends: libldap-2.4-2 (= 2.4.31-1+nmu2ubuntu8.2) but 2.4.42+dfsg-2+b2 is installed
 update-inetd : Depends: libfile-temp-perl
E: Error, pkgProblemResolver::Resolve generated breaks, this may be caused by held packages.
E: Unable to correct dependencies
nathan-xps%

ProblemType: Bug
DistroRelease: Ubuntu 14.04
Package: ubuntu-release-upgrader-core 1:0.220.8
ProcVersionSignature: Ubuntu 3.16.0-76.98~14.04.1-generic 3.16.7-ckt27
Uname: Linux 3.16.0-76-generic x86_64
ApportVersion: 2.14.1-0ubuntu3.21
Architecture: amd64
CrashDB: ubuntu
Date: Sun Aug 21 17:58:38 2016
InstallationDate: Installed on 2015-08-03 (384 days ago)
InstallationMedia: Ubuntu 14.04.2 LTS "Trusty Tahr" - Release amd64 (20150218.1)
PackageArchitecture: all
ProcEnviron:
 LANGUAGE=en_US
 PATH=(custom, no user)
 LANG=en_US.UTF-8
 SHELL=/bin/bash
SourcePackage: ubuntu-release-upgrader
UpgradeStatus: Upgraded to trusty on 2016-08-22 (0 days ago)
VarLogDistupgradeAptlog: Log time: 2016-08-21 17:58:27.133191
VarLogDistupgradeTermlog: