so i just decided to grit my teeth and wait for the update to finish.
it slowly does make progress.
this is the ps output

root       757  0.5  0.2 109944 86956 pts/4    Ds+  14:34   0:06 /usr/bin/dpkg --status-fd 59 --unpack --auto-deconfigure /var/cache/apt/archives/libdevmapper1.02.1_2%3a1.02.48-4ubuntu7.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/initramfs-tools_0.99ubuntu13.5_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/initramfs-tools-bin_0.99ubuntu13.5_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/dmsetup_2%3a1.02.48-4ubuntu7.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/udev_175-0ubuntu9.5_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/file_5.09-2ubuntu0.3_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libmagic1_5.09-2ubuntu0.3_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/sudo_1.8.3p1-1ubuntu3.6_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/xkb-data_2.5-1ubuntu1.5_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/bind9-host_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/dnsutils_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libisc83_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libdns81_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libisccc80_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libisccfg82_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/liblwres80_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libbind9-80_1%3a9.8.1.dfsg.P1-4ubuntu0.8_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/openssh-server_1%3a5.9p1-5ubuntu1.2_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/openssh-client_1%3a5.9p1-5ubuntu1.2_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/python-apt-common_0.8.3ubuntu7.2_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/python-apt_0.8.3ubuntu7.2_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/gir1.2-gtk-3.0_3.4.2-0ubuntu0.7_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/update-manager-core_1%3a0.156.14.12_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/update-manager_1%3a0.156.14.12_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/cups-filters_1.0.18-0ubuntu0.2_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/firefox_28.0+build2-0ubuntu0.12.04.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/firefox-globalmenu_28.0+build2-0ubuntu0.12.04.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/firefox-locale-en_28.0+build2-0ubuntu0.12.04.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/gir1.2-gudev-1.0_175-0ubuntu9.5_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/printer-driver-postscript-hp_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/printer-driver-hpijs_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libsane-hpaio_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/hplip_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libhpmud0_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/hplip-data_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/printer-driver-hpcups_3.12.2-1ubuntu3.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/imagemagick-common_8%3a6.6.9.7-5ubuntu3.3_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libmagickcore4_8%3a6.6.9.7-5ubuntu3.3_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libmagickwand4_8%3a6.6.9.7-5ubuntu3.3_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/imagemagick_8%3a6.6.9.7-5ubuntu3.3_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/jockey-gtk_0.9.7-0ubuntu7.14_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/jockey-common_0.9.7-0ubuntu7.14_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libcdt4_2.26.3-10ubuntu1.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libdevmapper-event1.02.1_2%3a1.02.48-4ubuntu7.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libgnome-bluetooth8_3.2.2-0ubuntu5.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libgraph4_2.26.3-10ubuntu1.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libpathplan4_2.26.3-10ubuntu1.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libgvc5_2.26.3-10ubuntu1.1_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/liblightdm-gobject-1-0_1.2.3-0ubuntu2.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/liblvm2app2.2_2.02.66-4ubuntu7.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libmagickcore4-extra_8%3a6.6.9.7-5ubuntu3.3_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libnautilus-extension1a_1%3a3.4.2-0ubuntu9_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libotr2_3.2.0-4ubuntu0.2_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libpurple-bin_1%3a2.10.3-0ubuntu1.4_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/libpurple0_1%3a2.10.3-0ubuntu1.4_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/linux-firmware_1.79.11_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/linux-libc-dev_3.2.0-60.91_amd64.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/nautilus-data_1%3a3.4.2-0ubuntu9_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/pidgin-data_1%3a2.10.3-0ubuntu1.4_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/pidgin_1%3a2.10.