root@ix:/usr/lib # dpkg -l | grep nvidia
ii  nvidia-173-modaliases                                   173.14.22-0ubuntu6                                Modaliases for the NVIDIA binary X.Org drive
ii  nvidia-96-modaliases                                    96.43.14-0ubuntu6                                 Modaliases for the NVIDIA binary X.Org drive
ii  nvidia-common                                           0.2.18                                            Find obsolete NVIDIA drivers
ii  nvidia-current                                          190.53-0ubuntu8                                   NVIDIA binary Xorg driver, kernel module and
ii  nvidia-current-modaliases                               190.53-0ubuntu8                                   Modaliases for the NVIDIA binary X.Org drive
pc  nvidia-glx                                              1:1.0.9639+2.6.22.4-14.9                          NVIDIA binary XFree86 4.x/X.Org driver
ii  nvidia-settings                                         190.53-0ubuntu1                                   Tool of configuring the NVIDIA graphics driv

mplayer still does work:

[vdpau] Could not open dynamic library libvdpau.so.1

root@ix:/usr/lib # find /usr/lib -name libvdpau.so.1 -ls
root@ix:/usr/lib # find /usr/lib -name \*nvidia\*.so\* -ls
36798466    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           38 Jan 23 20:36 /usr/lib/vdpau/libvdpau_nvidia.so.1 -> /etc/alternatives/libvdpau_nvidia.so.1
13959205    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           23 Jan 22 10:48 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/libnvidia-cfg.so.1 -> libnvidia-cfg.so.190.53
13893650    8 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root         4484 Jan 21 21:45 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/libnvidia-tls.so.190.53
34816035    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           20 Jan 22 10:48 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/vdpau/libvdpau_nvidia.so -> libvdpau_nvidia.so.1
34816031    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           25 Jan 22 10:48 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/vdpau/libvdpau_nvidia.so.1 -> libvdpau_nvidia.so.190.53
34816032 1444 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root      1472992 Jan 21 21:45 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/vdpau/libvdpau_nvidia.so.190.53
13893649  116 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root       118168 Jan 21 21:45 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/libnvidia-cfg.so.190.53
7585794    8 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root         4656 Jan 21 21:45 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/tls/libnvidia-tls.so.190.53
7586124    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           23 Jan 14 01:13 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/tls/libnvidia-tls.so.1 -> libnvidia-tls.so.190.53
13959174    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           23 Jan 22 10:48 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/libnvidia-tls.so.1 -> libnvidia-tls.so.190.53
8208404 4192 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root      4288040 Jan 21 21:45 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/xorg/nvidia_drv.so
13959203    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           18 Jan 22 10:48 /usr/lib/nvidia-current/libnvidia-cfg.so -> libnvidia-cfg.so.1
6602854    0 lrwxrwxrwx   1 root     root           28 Jan 23 20:36 /usr/lib/xorg/modules/drivers/nvidia_drv.so -> /etc/alternatives/nvidia_drv
16024690  112 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root       108168 Jun  2  2009 /usr/lib/directfb-1.2-0/gfxdrivers/libdirectfb_nvidia.so
6652338   20 -rw-r--r--   1 root     root        17936 May 12  2009 /usr/lib/sensors-applet/plugins/libnvidia.so

i also needed to add libvdpau1, it's fine now.

So nvidia-185-libvdpau was the culprit, it should either be fixed (the alternative) or conflicts