I haven't edited it.  This is a plain (and recent - maybe 3-month-old) Intrepid server install.

/usr/bin/screen:

#!/bin/sh
#
#    screen wrapper script
#    Copyright (C) 2008 Canonical Ltd.
#
#    Authors: Dustin Kirkland <email address hidden>
#
#    This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
#    it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
#    the Free Software Foundation, version 3 of the License.
#
#    This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
#    but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
#    MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.  See the
#    GNU General Public License for more details.
#
#    You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
#    along with this program.  If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>.

# Create the screen-profiles directory, if it doesn't already exist
[ -d "$HOME/.screen-profiles" ] || mkdir -p "$HOME/.screen-profiles"

# If $HOME/.screenrc exists but $HOME/.screen-profiles/profile does not,
# this shows that the user has an existing custom screen configuration,
# and thus we will not bother them with a select-screen-profile prompt.
if [ -r "$HOME/.screenrc" -a ! -e "$HOME/.screen-profiles/profile" -a ! -h "$HOME/.screen-profiles/profile" ]; then
        exec /usr/bin/screen.real -c "$HOME/.screenrc" "$@"
        exit $?
fi

# Ensure that the user has selected a screen profile
[ -h "$HOME/.screen-profiles/profile" ] || /usr/bin/select-screen-profile
if [ ! -r "$HOME/.screen-profiles/profile" ]; then
        echo
        echo "Your selected profile is not accessible."
        echo
        echo "Either select a different profile:"
        echo " $ select-screen-profile"
        echo
        echo "Or install the extras package:"
        echo " $ sudo apt-get install screen-profiles-extras"
        echo
        exit 1
fi

# Ensure that their keybindings are seeded
[ -s "$HOME/.screen-profiles/keybindings" ] || echo "source /usr/share/screen-profiles/keybindings/common" > "$HOME/.screen-profiles/keybindings"

# Ensure that their default windows are seeded
[ -r "$HOME/.screen-profiles/windows" ] || cp "/usr/share/screen-profiles/windows/common" "$HOME/.screen-profiles/windows"

# Ensure that the user's .screenrc at least exists
[ -r "$HOME/.screenrc" ] || touch "$HOME/.screenrc"

# Now let's execute screen!
exec /usr/bin/screen.real -c "$HOME/.screen-profiles/profile" "$@"

Also, in case it's useful:

$ time screen /bin/true

Ubuntu comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by
applicable law.

To access official Ubuntu documentation, please visit:
http://help.ubuntu.com/

  System information as of Tue Apr 14 13:00:01 CST 2009

  System load:    0.02                Memory usage: 30%   Processes:       150
  Usage of /home: 26.5% of 182.88GB   Swap usage:   0%    Users logged in: 1

  => There is 1 zombie process.

  Graph this data and manage this system at https://landscape.canonical.com/
jim@adelaide:~$ ps aux | grep true
jim      10034  0.1  0.1   4084  1076 pts/9    S+   13:05   0:00 /usr/bin/screen.real -c /home/jim/.screen-profiles/profile /bin/true
jim      10035  0.8  0.2   5264  2360 ?        Ss   13:05   0:00 /usr/bin/SCREEN.real -c /home/jim/.screen-profiles/profile /bin/true
jim      10440  0.0  0.0   3236   792 pts/11   S+   13:05   0:00 grep true
jim@adelaide:~$