can't run apt commands because apport/python are corrupt

[tom]

Running update/upgrade/autoremove

Running apt install --reinstall *

Running apt install *

Running apt remove *

All yield very similar errors to this. This one in particular is sudo apt install python.

Preparing to unpack .../apport_2.20.9-0ubuntu7.3_all.deb ...
Could not find platform independent libraries <prefix>
Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix>
Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>]
ImportError: No module named site
dpkg: warning: old apport package pre-removal script subprocess returned error exit status 1
dpkg: trying script from the new package instead ...
Failed to stop apport-autoreport.path: Unit apport-autoreport.path not loaded.
Failed to stop apport-autoreport.service: Unit apport-autoreport.service not loaded.
Could not find platform independent libraries <prefix>
Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix>
Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>]
ImportError: No module named site
dpkg: error processing archive /var/cache/apt/archives/apport_2.20.9-0ubuntu7.3_all.deb (--unpack):
 new apport package pre-removal script subprocess returned error exit status 1
Could not find platform independent libraries <prefix>
Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix>
Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>]
ImportError: No module named site
dpkg: error while cleaning up:
 installed apport package post-installation script subprocess returned error exit status 1
Errors were encountered while processing:
 /var/cache/apt/archives/apport_2.20.9-0ubuntu7.3_all.deb
E: Sub-process /usr/bin/dpkg returned an error code (1)

[tom (tombuntus)]

Tried exporting $PYTHONHOME to a couple different ideas, my $PATH looks good. I have no ideas. Every other related bug's remedy does nothing. Gonna reinstall with 18.10 out of frustration if nobody comments tomorrow (Monday).