Netbeans (or all Swing applications?) malfunction on Ubuntu

[NoBugs!]

As described here (and numerous other posts on the internet) Netbeans doesn't display properly on Ubuntu.
http://askubuntu.com/questions/390057/how-to-fix-netbeans-7-4-and-netbeans-8-0-ugly-text-and-popups-in-ubuntu-13-10

The only halfway working solution is this, which also has its problems:
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/15053069/netbeans-on-ubuntu-font-look-and-feel

Please let Java apps use the correct font and dialog rendering.

ProblemType: Bug
DistroRelease: Ubuntu 13.10
Package: openjdk-7-jre-headless 7u51-2.4.4-0ubuntu0.13.10.1
ProcVersionSignature: Ubuntu 3.11.0-18.32-generic 3.11.10.4
Uname: Linux 3.11.0-18-generic x86_64
ApportVersion: 2.12.5-0ubuntu2.2
Architecture: amd64
Date: Sat Mar 29 07:34:23 2014
EcryptfsInUse: Yes
ExecutablePath: /usr/lib/jvm/java-7-openjdk-amd64/jre/bin/java
InstallationDate: Installed on 2013-11-23 (126 days ago)
InstallationMedia: Ubuntu 13.10 "Saucy Salamander" - Release amd64 (20131016.1)
LocalLibraries: /home/luke/netbeans-8.0/platform/modules/lib/amd64/linux/libjnidispatch-340.so
MarkForUpload: True
SourcePackage: openjdk-7
UpgradeStatus: No upgrade log present (probably fresh install)